Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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