i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
