I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
