If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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