I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
