so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
