our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
