peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
