His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
