Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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