Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
