Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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