Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
whose parrot is this?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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