I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
