i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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