Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
