laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
