We're like a lot better than the average bears
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
