I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
