i just had sex bonerless
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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