i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
