please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
