She's JV to your varsity
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
