she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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