does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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