Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
handjob tips. give me some.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
