The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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