your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
