Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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