So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
