So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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