a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
