Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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