sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
