i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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