you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
