too bad you live with your parents still
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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