So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
