Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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