But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
