why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
