trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
