I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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