I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
