So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
