Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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