he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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