you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
