Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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