So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
