I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
