My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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