i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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