Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Randomize
